Letter of wishes for a funeral
Planning ahead can help your loved ones feel more confident about what you would have wanted. One way to do this is by writing a letter of wishes.
What is a letter of wishes?
A letter of wishes is a simple document that sits alongside your Will. It is not legally binding, but it gives guidance to the people looking after your affairs after you die.
It can also be called a Memorandum of Wishes or an Expression of Wishes.
You can use it to share your personal preferences, including how you would like your funeral or memorial to be arranged.
How can it help with funeral planning?
A letter of wishes can make things easier for family and friends at a difficult time. It can include:
- Whether you prefer burial or cremation
- Ideas for the tone or style of the service
- Music, readings or special requests
- Who you would like to be involved.
It can also include your wishes about donations.
Asking for donations in memory
Many people choose to ask for donations instead of flowers at their funeral or memorial. A letter of wishes is a helpful place to explain this.
You can include a request for donations to a charity that matters to you, such as Terrence Higgins Trust, and a short note about why the cause is important to you.
This helps your loved ones feel confident they are honouring your wishes.
What to keep in mind
A letter of wishes is meant to guide, not instruct. To make it as helpful as possible:
Do
- Keep your language clear and simple
- Be specific about your preferences
- Update it if your wishes change
- Let your executor or family know where it is stored
Do not
- Include anything that conflicts with your Will
- Use unclear or vague wording
- Rely on it for anything that is a legal directive
Do I need a solicitor?
You do not need a solicitor to write a letter of wishes. You can write it yourself, by hand or on a computer. It should be signed and dated.
It is a good idea to keep it somewhere safe, ideally with your Will.
A simple way to make your wishes known
Writing a letter of wishes is a kind and practical step. It gives clarity to those close to you and can ensure that any in memory donations reflect what mattered most to you.
If you would like to support Terrence Higgins Trust in this way, we are here to help you and your loved ones make this happen.
